So I was watching Beverly Hills 90210 (lol) anyways it was an episode of a teenage girl who has a baby and Branden, one of the main people, date her and blah blah ...., the girl who has the baby thinks about what life would be like if she gave the baby up for adoption cuz she wants to go to harvard and talks about how she sometimes wants a break from the baby but then then cant wait to hold him again...Branden's mom talks to her and says it gets harder but it gets better too... "they become a part of your dreams"
It is very interesting watching this episode at this point in my life because it would be very different if I was watching it before I had Drew. It is amazing how being a mother or parent for that matter, changes your perspectives on things. It is hard to explain what I am thinking but just wanted to write it down...
I thank God everyday for blessing us with Drew :)
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I love...
So this has been a hard week..Nick has been sick all week and I havent felt great but not the same way he has felt..I just pray Drew does not get sick...and that we all feel better quickly! Being sick is for the birds!
Drew is getting cuter and cuter I swear :) I just love him so much! It is an unexplainable feeling to be a mother. I love it!
I love...
"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." Rose Franken
Drew is getting cuter and cuter I swear :) I just love him so much! It is an unexplainable feeling to be a mother. I love it!
I love...
- God
- my family
- being a wife
- being a mother
- having my own family
- staying home with Drew
- going in the hot tub in winter
- warm days filled with sunshine
- taking stroller walks with lil Drew
- taking long, hot showers and baths
- watching my favorite television shows
- spending time with Nick and just chatting
- riding my favorite rollercoasters at Cedar Point
- walking along the beach in Fort Myers, FL
- laying out in the bright sun on the beach
- spending time with my fun,crazy family
- spending time with all my friends
- having quality time with Nick
- playing board games w/fam
- bath&body works lotion
- cuddling with Drew
- eating ice cream
- inside jokes
- laughing
- sun
And I love this quote:
"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." Rose Franken
Friday, March 13, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Subjective
So here is my little rant....so I have come to the conclusion that...well I didnt just come to this conclusion but it was once again reinforced after I received my paper back from my class. Judging/Grading writing is subjective! You cannot judge someone's papers objectively besides grammer...I mean it just is not possible. How can you say that something is not right or "too wordy" etc when it is someone's story! I mean I handed in that paper I wrote about how having a baby has changed my life and she crossed out some things saying I needed to make it shorter or too wordy...HELLO it is MY story so how can you say it is bad?? I really just dont get it...I felt the same way when I was in a creative writing class...how can you say something is bad writing besides if it has bad grammer??? I just dont get it...it would just mean you DONT LIKE it, not that it is bad. Whatev I guess. I mean it isnt a BIG deal, just kinda annoying...
For example, if you read my paper in the previous posts, she crossed out the part in the first paragraph when I said The next thing I heard from the ultrasound technician was music to my ears. “You are going to have a boy.” Those words were the most exciting news I had heard in a while. I had wanted a baby boy!
Ok maybe she wouldnt have put that, but that was part of my story so I had that in there...lol there is my little rant.
For example, if you read my paper in the previous posts, she crossed out the part in the first paragraph when I said The next thing I heard from the ultrasound technician was music to my ears. “You are going to have a boy.” Those words were the most exciting news I had heard in a while. I had wanted a baby boy!
Ok maybe she wouldnt have put that, but that was part of my story so I had that in there...lol there is my little rant.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Baby thoughts
I have the best baby! Haha everyone says that. We are just so blessed to have a great, easy-going baby who mostly only fusses when he is hungry and sometimes when he is tired :) Everyone says that means prolly the next one will be crazy haha we will see!!
Time goes by so fast! He is already like 2 1/2 months old! He is sooo tiny in this pic! He was only a day old!! That is why I take so many pics; I want to capture all these moments cuz it goes by so fast... I want to eventually make a scrapbook for him. My mother-in-law made scrapbooks for all three of her kids from when they were babies to now basically :) I want to do that!
Monday, March 2, 2009
New Start
I guess I will start blogging again...I am not really a journalling type person but maybe I will start doing it regularly. haha
I love being a mom. It is the best! I will post my paper I wrote about how having a baby has changed my life :) Read if you would like:
New Territory
When I first saw those two pink lines on the pregnancy test, I did not think it was real. When I first saw the word “pregnant” on the digital pregnancy test, I did not think it was real. When I saw the two pink lines again on the fourth pregnancy test, I realized it was real. I was going to have a baby. Twenty weeks later, I saw the little body in that ultrasound and my heart overflowed with joy and amazement. The next thing I heard from the ultrasound technician was music to my ears. “You are going to have a boy.” Those words were the most exciting news I had heard in a while. I had wanted a baby boy!
I was not worried or nervous about taking care of a baby; I have taken care of a lot of children. Giving birth was what I was worried about. Not just the fact that a human being was going to come out of me, but thinking about all the possible complications that could occur during the process of having him.
When it came time for me to actually push, I did not think I could do it. I would push and feel no progress and I would turn to my husband and say, “I can’t do it! I can’t do it! What if I can’t push him out?” I realized that was the time I needed to think about the baby first, knowing that I needed to keep pushing for him. It was my responsibility to bring him into this world; that realization made me persevere. I managed to find the strength to keep going, praying along the way. Labor and delivery was a long, hard process of twelve plus hours. Was it worth it? Yes, very much so.
When I felt his whole body come out and be placed on my stomach, an overwhelming feeling of relief and calm washed over me. I did it. This is my baby, my warm tiny baby lying on me. This baby was mine. My own flesh and blood! It is my job to take care of him.
When I first looked into his eyes, I immediately felt love, a deep, deep indescribable unconditional love for him. When I first held him in my arms, I didn’t want to let go. When I first fed him, I recognized his dependence and trust in me and knew he was my responsibility.
He is so tiny and is mine and is my husband’s and God’s handiwork
entrusted to us to raise, care for and lavish with love.
My life is changed forever.
While we were still at the hospital, the “mean ol’ nurse” came in to give my precious baby, Drew, a shot. The needle looked extra big. Don’t hurt my baby! It was as if a very impulsive urge came over me and I wanted to lunge in front of the needle like jumping in front of a bullet. I did not want him to feel pain.
Looking back, I can see how my mom wanted to protect me and do what she can to help me. Starting at eighteen months, I had to have speech therapy. I had a difficult birth; the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck three times, which resulted in not being able to say many words, beginnings or sometimes endings of words. My mom sacrificed her time at work to drive me to the hospital three days a week and worked extra hours the other days so she could do that. She said, “That is what moms do. We sacrifice for our children.” It is all about priorities, the priorities we make in life when we are responsible for someone else. She has told me, “Taking you to speech therapy was a priority because how you speak would affect you for the rest of your life and I wanted you to have the best opportunity for life as possible.”
I have discovered that I too am making sacrifices for Drew. For example, losing sleep to hold him so he will stop crying and feel loved. Surprisingly enough, it does not bother me too much. Obviously, when I am so tired, when I can barely keep my eyes open, I would rather have him sleep, but he trusts me to feed him. When you're a parent, you do what you have to do for your child. Whatever the need is, I find a way to support the needs of my child because that is my responsibility.
When Drew cries, especially for a long period of time, I don’t get frustrated thinking that I am sick of hearing his cries; I feel bad, sad, for him and wonder why he is so upset. To see his little lips quivering breaks my heart. Before I was pregnant, babies’ cries were annoying and aggravating. However, now that I have my own child, my first thought is what I can do to help him because I am his mother.
Responsibility has come naturally to me now regarding Drew. Everything I do impacts my son. My world now revolves around him. My wants are no longer priorities and I am now focusing on his needs, not just what I want to do. The wise words of Solomon state, “Train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Today those words apply to me as I have my own family and what I want, need, and should do for Drew.
So far, being a parent has not been that tough. I know people say “just wait until he gets into everything, just wait until he is talking your ear off, asking why, why, why to everything.” I am sure sometimes that will annoy me but I will learn as I go and I know that is a part of being a parent.
The hardest thing right now is not being able to sleep as much, but that is a sacrifice you have to make as a parent and I am happy to do that for the sake of my baby. I find that I don’t mind that much because it is for him and that is my main concern now.
Another hard thing now is not having as much time with friends or the freedom to go out anytime with them. Before, if I did not do things with friends, I felt left out or something was missing. However, now that I have Drew, I don’t feel that way because my priorities have shifted to him. Obviously, sometimes I miss that, but I enjoy taking care of my son and know that is what I need to put first.
It is really amazing how much I don’t think of myself as much and how much I think of my baby. If the baby needs something and I am watching a show or have a headache, I can’t say, “But I have to finish this show,” or “I have a headache, I don’t want to get up out of bed.” It is all about the baby. He trusts me to meet his needs; he cannot do it on his own. I am thankful for that responsibility because with it, I have rewards with my son.
When I was growing up, my parents gave me one hundred percent support in terms of sports participation, starting with gymnastics and going to meets for eight years, and basketball camps, recreation league basketball, then school basketball, volleyball, track, softball and going to every game no matter how far away. When I say every game, I mean, every game. They never missed a game. I loved the fact that they did that. I felt loved and supported and I never took that for granted.
Looking to the future, I can see myself giving my time to Drew’s interests, which will most likely be sports; but whatever it is, I will be there to support him one hundred percent. Having a baby and raising him changes my life not just now, but for the rest of my life.
Becoming a parent is really a life-changing experience. It has opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at the world, especially my world with my family. As we enter new territory, we discover new things about ourselves through experiences and relationships. I have learned a lot about myself and I know I will continue to learn more as I grow with my husband and with my son.
It is amazing how two pink lines can change your life.
I love being a mom. It is the best! I will post my paper I wrote about how having a baby has changed my life :) Read if you would like:
New Territory
When I first saw those two pink lines on the pregnancy test, I did not think it was real. When I first saw the word “pregnant” on the digital pregnancy test, I did not think it was real. When I saw the two pink lines again on the fourth pregnancy test, I realized it was real. I was going to have a baby. Twenty weeks later, I saw the little body in that ultrasound and my heart overflowed with joy and amazement. The next thing I heard from the ultrasound technician was music to my ears. “You are going to have a boy.” Those words were the most exciting news I had heard in a while. I had wanted a baby boy!
I was not worried or nervous about taking care of a baby; I have taken care of a lot of children. Giving birth was what I was worried about. Not just the fact that a human being was going to come out of me, but thinking about all the possible complications that could occur during the process of having him.
When it came time for me to actually push, I did not think I could do it. I would push and feel no progress and I would turn to my husband and say, “I can’t do it! I can’t do it! What if I can’t push him out?” I realized that was the time I needed to think about the baby first, knowing that I needed to keep pushing for him. It was my responsibility to bring him into this world; that realization made me persevere. I managed to find the strength to keep going, praying along the way. Labor and delivery was a long, hard process of twelve plus hours. Was it worth it? Yes, very much so.
When I felt his whole body come out and be placed on my stomach, an overwhelming feeling of relief and calm washed over me. I did it. This is my baby, my warm tiny baby lying on me. This baby was mine. My own flesh and blood! It is my job to take care of him.
When I first looked into his eyes, I immediately felt love, a deep, deep indescribable unconditional love for him. When I first held him in my arms, I didn’t want to let go. When I first fed him, I recognized his dependence and trust in me and knew he was my responsibility.
He is so tiny and is mine and is my husband’s and God’s handiwork
entrusted to us to raise, care for and lavish with love.
My life is changed forever.
While we were still at the hospital, the “mean ol’ nurse” came in to give my precious baby, Drew, a shot. The needle looked extra big. Don’t hurt my baby! It was as if a very impulsive urge came over me and I wanted to lunge in front of the needle like jumping in front of a bullet. I did not want him to feel pain.
Looking back, I can see how my mom wanted to protect me and do what she can to help me. Starting at eighteen months, I had to have speech therapy. I had a difficult birth; the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck three times, which resulted in not being able to say many words, beginnings or sometimes endings of words. My mom sacrificed her time at work to drive me to the hospital three days a week and worked extra hours the other days so she could do that. She said, “That is what moms do. We sacrifice for our children.” It is all about priorities, the priorities we make in life when we are responsible for someone else. She has told me, “Taking you to speech therapy was a priority because how you speak would affect you for the rest of your life and I wanted you to have the best opportunity for life as possible.”
I have discovered that I too am making sacrifices for Drew. For example, losing sleep to hold him so he will stop crying and feel loved. Surprisingly enough, it does not bother me too much. Obviously, when I am so tired, when I can barely keep my eyes open, I would rather have him sleep, but he trusts me to feed him. When you're a parent, you do what you have to do for your child. Whatever the need is, I find a way to support the needs of my child because that is my responsibility.
When Drew cries, especially for a long period of time, I don’t get frustrated thinking that I am sick of hearing his cries; I feel bad, sad, for him and wonder why he is so upset. To see his little lips quivering breaks my heart. Before I was pregnant, babies’ cries were annoying and aggravating. However, now that I have my own child, my first thought is what I can do to help him because I am his mother.
Responsibility has come naturally to me now regarding Drew. Everything I do impacts my son. My world now revolves around him. My wants are no longer priorities and I am now focusing on his needs, not just what I want to do. The wise words of Solomon state, “Train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Today those words apply to me as I have my own family and what I want, need, and should do for Drew.
So far, being a parent has not been that tough. I know people say “just wait until he gets into everything, just wait until he is talking your ear off, asking why, why, why to everything.” I am sure sometimes that will annoy me but I will learn as I go and I know that is a part of being a parent.
The hardest thing right now is not being able to sleep as much, but that is a sacrifice you have to make as a parent and I am happy to do that for the sake of my baby. I find that I don’t mind that much because it is for him and that is my main concern now.
Another hard thing now is not having as much time with friends or the freedom to go out anytime with them. Before, if I did not do things with friends, I felt left out or something was missing. However, now that I have Drew, I don’t feel that way because my priorities have shifted to him. Obviously, sometimes I miss that, but I enjoy taking care of my son and know that is what I need to put first.
It is really amazing how much I don’t think of myself as much and how much I think of my baby. If the baby needs something and I am watching a show or have a headache, I can’t say, “But I have to finish this show,” or “I have a headache, I don’t want to get up out of bed.” It is all about the baby. He trusts me to meet his needs; he cannot do it on his own. I am thankful for that responsibility because with it, I have rewards with my son.
When I was growing up, my parents gave me one hundred percent support in terms of sports participation, starting with gymnastics and going to meets for eight years, and basketball camps, recreation league basketball, then school basketball, volleyball, track, softball and going to every game no matter how far away. When I say every game, I mean, every game. They never missed a game. I loved the fact that they did that. I felt loved and supported and I never took that for granted.
Looking to the future, I can see myself giving my time to Drew’s interests, which will most likely be sports; but whatever it is, I will be there to support him one hundred percent. Having a baby and raising him changes my life not just now, but for the rest of my life.
Becoming a parent is really a life-changing experience. It has opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at the world, especially my world with my family. As we enter new territory, we discover new things about ourselves through experiences and relationships. I have learned a lot about myself and I know I will continue to learn more as I grow with my husband and with my son.
It is amazing how two pink lines can change your life.
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